I went to see a dentist, who was lovely, however she also told me that I had 5 teeth that required filling. Well two got done $355 I walked out of there thinking there was a reason I delayed paying the water bill. Yes, I do have private health insurance however the card was "expired" according to the system despite the fact I pay more than $100 per month to have it. And ofcourse the call centre was closed. So $355 later, I have 2 fillings, yippee!
Next stop was the cinema, my partner and my son went to watch a new Australian movie called Red Dog. Don't miss out on this glorious movie, it was simple yet touching and didn't require violence, swearing or sex unlike mainstream movies seem to require these days. I loved the simplicity of the town and how this dog rounded up a whole community. My son cried, I cried and well the rest of the cinema including the pesky and noisy teenagers sitting inconveniently behind us.
After that we all went home to relax, have some rest and then have a lovely Thai dinner and watch some movies.
Unfortunately the evening ended with a sour note where an argument over nothing really boiled over and the evening ended abruptly with me going to bed. I have woken today with puffy eyes, a sore throat, and looking as though I did not sleep a wink, I really don't enjoy arguing, does anyone except for lawyers? I can't stand the pain and the frustration that goes on. Yet it keeps occurring, its as though it is an never ending nightmare. Yes, I understand people are very different and therefore thoughts are different however I realise you cannot convince a sheltered person otherwise and resistance is futile.
Today has been a non productive day as I stare outside at the glorious weather, sipping tea, listening to the sound of lawnmowers and tools nearby I ponder and wonder, how did we get to this point?
A relationship when you already have a child is so difficult especially when the other person cannot empathise with you and doesn't understand the daily battles single parents have. We are always questioning ourselves and wondering if we are doing the best we can for our children, are we there enough to support them? Do we work too much? Are we selfish for wanting adult time alone without our child? We feel bad because we can't attend the school concert due to work commitments, we feel even worse when we take our sick child to work because there is no other option because work needs to be done and there is no one else who can help you look after your child....These are our daily burdens and we constantly question ourselves if what we are doing is enough, and I personally on a daily basis question if the decisions I have made are the best for my son and what I could do to make his life easier....Have I failed as a parent?
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